When I was in fourth grade, we had a substitute teacher, Mrs. Schuester. She was the mother of a boy a year older than me, so she was at school a lot. I don't remember the exact wording, and I don't remember the context, but I remember being called "Motor Mouth" in front of the entire class. I have always been a talker. I talk during lectures, experiments, plays, movies, church services, funerals, weddings, anything. So I understand that I'd probably been driving her nuts with my constant talking.
I'll tell you this, though. I saw Mrs. Schuester years later at a grocery store. I was angry. After seven or eight years, I was still feeling mad at her for embarrassing me in front of my peers. I'm thirty-three now, and I still remember that she was wearing a red sweater and a gold necklace that day. I still feel ashamed. Luckily, the nickname didn't stick, although it wasn't the only time I heard it applied to me.
As a teacher and mother, I feel that there are certain lines you don't cross. Address the behavior, not the child. Recently G was having a bit of a meltdown in the car in the presence of someone that isn't in our immediate family. It was a transition from the pool back to home, and transitions are really rough. This person said, "G, you're pathetic!"
Even when I made a comment about how I didn't like that being said, both the person who said the comment and my husband both feel I'm being too sensitive. Tell G his tantrum is pathetic (still not my favorite way to go, but at least its addressing the behavior instead of the child...) or find some other words! Or don't give any attention to the behavior that you don't like!
Sticks, stones, and words can hurt. Watch what you say to a child. You never know if what you say is going to haunt them for years. After Columbine High School and Sandy Hook Elementary School, we know what low self-esteem coupled with mental illness can lead to in the most extreme forms.
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