Liar, Liar

We are currently having an issue with G and lying.  Up until the past month or so, he was faithfully truthful.  He would flat out tell you that he hurt someone or took something or climbed somewhere he wasn't supposed to.  I've cultivated that truthfulness and always told him how proud I am of him for telling the truth.  We've talked about the consequences of lying for years, so that he would understand why I am proud that I can trust him to tell me the truth.

Not anymore.  The lies aren't over big things.  One was about who made the mess in J's room.  G said it was J, while J said it was both of them.  G went to bed early over that, with lots of crying and promises to never do it again.  We had a long discussion about the consequences for the two situations.  If he'd told me that they both made the mess, I would've had them both clean it up.  Because he lied, there was a punishment involved.

This morning, the Lego city was partially deconstructed.  G insisted that J did it.  Upon arrival at the scene, J informs me that they both did it.  G immediately apologizes for lying and begins bawling.

So he's in his room for the day and has lost screen time for two days, at least.  I'm at a loss about other consequences.  Treat him like a younger child to show that I can't trust him?  Make each punishment longer and more severe since the earlier one didn't work?  I'm open to ideas, Internet.

How do you stop the lying?

Oh boy.

This afternoon, starting at 3:40 when G came into my classroom, was awful.  G had his hands on his brother for minor annoyances.  He shrieked and wailed about doing his homework, going so far as to stomp out in the hallway and throw his pencil.  He insisted that he needed help with his homework, which involved doing a spelling activity with 14 words.  He said he'd do "creepy writing", but couldn't get past scribbling on the paper.

I wrangled the boys home, and I emphasized the need to finish the homework the whole way home.  G kept talking about needed help, but he seemed game to get it done and move on to screen time.  Then we get home.

Homework?  Nope.  He was everywhere but at the kitchen table.  Quiet?  Nope.  He kept talking about needing help, which I told him I wouldn't provide.  Calm?  Nope.  We tried getting the blankie and the Smencils.  I yelled.  I begged.  I ignored.

Finally, I said, "G, What is going ON?  Why won't you just do your homework?"

G took a deep breath and then wailed, "Because you forgot my medicine today!"

Uh oh.  I thought and thought and thought.  Then I realized he was right.  I forgot the medicine today.

I had two realizations upon realizing I had indeed forgotten to give my kid his prescription stimulant. First, it hit me that it explains why he made some funny noises when I went in to visit his classroom and why he had to move his clip down for playing with all his crayons at once instead of doing his work.

Second, it hit me that NO ONE GOT HURT.  I sent my kid to school unmedicated, and no one got hurt.  I swear- the clouds parted, a beam of light struck me, and the Hallelujah chorus was playing.

 Okay, so I made up that last part.

But it makes me feel so amazing.  He handled it.  And thank goodness for his teacher.  She must have the patience of a saint and amazing teaching skills.  Sometimes we go forever without seeing growth and maturity, and then we get a great look at how wonderful our kids really are.

Bring It On Home

I used to forget things, lose things, and be generally disorganized as a student, so I understand this aspect of ADHD.  My dad could never understand why I lost my weekly homework page, but those of us in the world with ADHD understand that one piece of paper is like the needle in the haystack.

As a teacher, I'm able to be sympathetic and helpful, never judging when my students need help writing down homework and packing up backpacks.

Now it comes full circle.  G is unsure of his homework each evening and isn't bringing home what he needs.  Boy oh boy.  At least I can sympathize.

I'm lucky.  His teachers and his classroom are right down the hall from me.  When he comes in each afternoon, we check his backpack, and I'm able to determine if we need to get more information or some materials so that homework can be done.  I'm able to just slip in to his room and grab things without much notice being taken.

I think there are some things that will help in the future.  Second graders don't have a real agenda- they simply have a homework sheet that the teacher makes up each week.  Most homework is on here, but math isn't listed since G goes to a different teacher for math.  In third grade, he'll have an agenda that will list all subjects.   Hopefully G's executive functioning will improve, and he'll be able to remember more than one thing for more than two minutes.

Until things get better, I can just keep coming along behind him and double checking, sneaking into classrooms, and asking teachers for more help and clarification.  And I'll keep sympathizing with my parents and all the other parents out there that have to deal with this frustration.