A Very Long Week

Its been rough for several reasons.  First, we are in that busy time when there are lots of dinners and parties and gatherings and events.  We are all busy, and there is so much to remember to do and make and bring and buy.

Second,  as a teacher, the students are all wound up.  They are ready for a break, and they don't want to work.  Its very hard to motivate kids when their brains are on vacation.

Third, G has had the week from hell at school.  On Monday, he hit and kicked a classmate that fell asleep on the rug.  He also bit another child while they were wrestling.  On Tuesday, he couldn't keep his hands to himself in line.  He also turned his chair so that his back was facing the music teacher.  On Wednesday, he was better about his hands, but acted up at the class party, making a huge mess.  Thursday was okay.  Today was okay as well, according to his teacher, but I disagree.

I went out on the playground during his recess time, figuring we could play a bit.  I found him pinning a little girl on her knees with her hands behind his back.  I hauled him, gave him some heavy work, and handed him over to his teacher.  I guess everything else was okay, based on the note she sent, but I was very disheartened about recess.

Its been terrible at home in the evenings.  Its like he's had no medicine, and I don't understand that.  We've been really good about it.  Is his dose too low?  Is he wound up over Christmas?  Does he just not care right now, so he's not motivated to be good?

We have lots of carrots and sticks in place.  I don't think either of those are necessary.  But its going to be a loooooooong Christmas break.

Sleep

When I was younger, sleep was terrible for me.  Looking back, I know that it was due to the ADHD.  My mind would race and race, and I couldn't calm down to get to sleep.  It doesn't sound like that big of a deal from today's perspective, but there were several years of hell for my parents and I.

I think it was late elementary school when it started.  My parents set up a good bedtime routine for my sister and I.  We would read stories, first together as young kids, then on our own.  We would say prayers and go to bed.  At a certain point, it started taking me up to six hours to fall asleep.  I don't remember my exact bedtime.  I do remember seeing one, two, three o'clock roll around some nights.

I had a lot of anxiety attacks.  Or just fear attacks.  It was a lot like a temper tantrum, but without the anger.  Crying, yelling, begging to sleep with my mom.  As a coping mechanism, I started going to bed earlier and earlier.  I figured that going to bed earlier would mean going to sleep earlier.  It didn't work.

The pediatrician tried to help with a two week supply of sleeping pills.  I remember the glorious feeling those little green pills gave me.  Peace, knowing I wasn't going to have to work at falling asleep.  Happiness that there would be no meltdown.  But it was only for two weeks.  The idea was to reset my sleep habits/internal clock/whatever.  It didn't work.

Starting around dinner time or dusk, whichever would come first given the season, I would become very anxious.  Sometimes the meltdown would occur before bedtime was even a thought for anyone else, because I was so upset about what would be coming.  I can remember going to camp and laying in my bunk about to jump out of my skin because I'd be in an unfamiliar place with new people, and I couldn't freak out.  Or maybe I could.  Then I just couldn't help it.  For years and years, evenings were horrible.

Once I was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD (due to my bedtime routines/behaviors) and medicated for these, the bedtime problems and anxiety disappeared.  Occasionally I have some kind of flashback to what it felt like when I was so wrapped up in the anxiety of laying in bed for hours, wanting to go to sleep.

Then G started having trouble sleeping.  I know my husband hates it when he comes to bed and G is in bed with me, but if G's upset about not being able to sleep, I cave in about 50% of the time.  The rest of the time, I go snuggle with him.  We've had a lot of improvement with lots of exercise and melatonin.  As of right now, I think I've managed to help him avoid the issues I had.

My advice?  Try exercise.  Try melatonin.  Try anything you have to.  Sleep is important, and sleep issues can have longterm impacts on kids.  And ADHD doesn't help with sleep issues at all.

The Elf On The Shelf, ADHD Style

Our little impish friend is named George.  If, in reading this, you are unfamiliar with the elf on the shelf, you can google it and find a bunch of pictures taken by overachieving parents.  People with too much time and energy on their hands.  People I'd like to roll my eyes at.  I wish I could just go back to the time when we didn't have an elf, and let it be just a school thing, as lots of my coworkers get on the elf train.  You see, George causes problems for both my son and me.

For me, its the daily remembering to move him and find some interesting and/or original spot.  EVERY DAY.  Why didn't the elf inventor make it a weekly move/visit to Santa?  Each year, I start out well.  The first three days that George is around, I come up with great spots.  Hanging from the chandelier.  Hiding in a glass cabinet with an Expo marker and a cheeky message.  Then the monotony starts.  He moves from one shelf to another.  Back to the chandelier.  Then the third stage- the one where I forget completely.  "Honey," I whisper.  "Don't let the kids go downstairs!  I have to sneak down and move the #$%& elf!"  The other option is the kids finding him where he was.  "Oh, don't worry, kids.  George must've been too tired to go visit Santa last night and just stayed put."  I don't know how many times I can use that one.

For G, its the fact that George has to be out of reach.  Usually at least five feet up.  It doesn't work to tell him that the magic will disappear if George is touched.  He can't help himself when his meds aren't kicked in.  Well meaning people continually say, "He may surprise you."  If he can't help himself from kissing boys at school, he won't be able to keep his hands off George.  In turn, this need to have George out of reach, makes my job even harder.  Red Solo cup tree?  Nuh-uh.  Bathroom sink marshmallow bath?  Nope.  Driving around in a toy car?  Not happening.  Think about it- how many places can you hide an elf that a kid can't easily get to?  (If cyberspace has any great ideas, let me know ASAP.  I'm already getting desperate.)

And the cherry on top?  I'm not sure that the threat of George does us any good.  My kids aren't very intimidated, for whatever reason.  Oh well.  He goes "home" on Christmas Eve, so that's just 16 more days, right?  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Bad Days

Its been a rough day for G, behaviorally.  I chatted with his teacher yesterday, and the one thing that's really a problem right now is blurting out.  He is curious and full of ideas.  So his questions and comments come fast and furious.  Not great when you're one of twenty or so kids.  So we talked about trying harder, although I wasn't sure it would do any good.

Since G goes to the school I teach at, he comes with me in the mornings.  We got to school at 7:30 this morning, 50 minutes before time to go to class.  He was very busy and did a lot of interrupting while I was working, but I'd given him his meds and figured they'd kick in eventually.  I'm not sure they ever did.  He had a pretty bad day.  Hands all over people, blurting out, disorganized, all up in everyone's business.

Then he spent another hour with me after school.  I was trying to meet about some things with colleagues, and he could not get quiet.  My coworkers think he's adorable, but he couldn't keep himself occupied while we talked.  As we were leaving, I was talking to another coworker, and he WOULD NOT STOP interrupting.

I lost it.  Not outwardly, but inwardly.  I probably would've gone bonkers at him if I hadn't had an audience.  He wanted me to carry his backpack.  I'd said no a dozen times.  I'd told him to stop whining about it.  Then he keeps interrupting, all over something I've already told him no about!

This afternoon he terrorized the cats to no end.  I can't get him to stop picking them up and carrying them around.  He's not hurting them, but he certainly isn't making any feline friends.  He was all over the place, not listening, bothering his brother, trying to touch George the Elf, and on and on.

I started to doubt myself.

Maybe I'm too lenient with him.

Maybe he just needs a good spanking.

Maybe he can really help it.

Maybe I need some Xanax.

And then it hits me.  Wisdom from a children's book.  Some days are like that.  Even in Australia.

The Junk Drawer

I don't know if everyone has a junk drawer in their home.  Everyone that I've met has one, but I'm not sure that I've met enough people to turn that into everyone.  I recently did a little cleaning of my junk drawer, and I was pretty amazed at what I found:

- 3 Thomas the Tank Engine zoo animals
- 2 Toy Story figurines from the grandparents' house
- About 300 small, loose stickers
- 1 roll of motivational stickers
- 1 baggie of magnets
- 1 card about the patron saint of selling houses
- 3 cards from my husband for various events
- 2 unspent giftcards, totaling $60
- 3 small bubble containers/wands
- 5 dry erase markers
- 1 pencil sharpener
- 3 pencils
- 2 bouncy balls
- 1 whistle
- 5 out-of-date coupons
- 10+ pieces of random candy
- 3 partially used packages of gum
- 2 unopened packages of gum
- 4 recipes I've never cooked
- 3 kazoos, all broken
- 2 packages of birthday candles
- 1 waterproof iPhone case

And a bunch of other stuff.  Anyone catch anything interesting in there?  How about those $60 in gift cards?  $10 for Starbucks from a parent, $50 from Amazon from my brother-in-law and his girlfriend.  Both from Christmas last year.  As in, about 11 months ago.  Wow.  I guess I couldn't decide how to spend the cards when I got them, so I put them in a "safe place" to await some decisions.  I totally forgot they were there.  I bought myself a yarn swift on Amazon, which should come soon.  I'm going to have a cup o' joe from Starbucks one day this week, or maybe get a new travel mug.

As silly as it feels to have forgotten about $60 of gifts, it certainly made for a nice surprise.  If only cleaning my house always yielded such delights!