I have struggled with being overweight for most of my adult life. I attribute this to a couple of different things, but while I can pinpoint some of the issues, I've yet to actually solve the problem.
I am a mild binge eater, on a regular basis. I won't buy and eat several boxes of cookies, but if there's a box in the house, and its open, I'll eat a lot of them. Or finish the whole box with the idea that if I finish it, it won't be calling my name anymore. I go on frequent little binges. I have done this fairly steadily from childhood on. I don't know if has to do with impulse control or some signal in my brain that my ancestors had to always be prepared for a famine. I just know how embarrassing it was when my mom found I'd been hoarding food in my closet.
I also have no sticking power for diets. I can go a couple of weeks pretty steadily, and then I'll fall off the wagon. I can get back on, only to fall off again fairly quickly. I'll go to a store not expecting to buy any junk food (sugary stuff is my weakness), but come out with a box of something unhealthy. In my mind, I know I shouldn't buy or eat the junk. I'll tell myself no, but I can't stick with it. Forget the diet, I'll say to myself. I know I'll regret it later. I know that one flop on the diet usually leads me to another. I have yet to figure out a way to keep myself from sabotaging myself.
This weekend I sabotaged myself. I'm four pounds away from a goal weight I've had for months. FOUR POUNDS. And I ordered pizza Sunday night. Starting tomorrow morning, I'm getting back on the wagon. See ya later, four pounds!
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