The Elf On The Shelf, ADHD Style

Our little impish friend is named George.  If, in reading this, you are unfamiliar with the elf on the shelf, you can google it and find a bunch of pictures taken by overachieving parents.  People with too much time and energy on their hands.  People I'd like to roll my eyes at.  I wish I could just go back to the time when we didn't have an elf, and let it be just a school thing, as lots of my coworkers get on the elf train.  You see, George causes problems for both my son and me.

For me, its the daily remembering to move him and find some interesting and/or original spot.  EVERY DAY.  Why didn't the elf inventor make it a weekly move/visit to Santa?  Each year, I start out well.  The first three days that George is around, I come up with great spots.  Hanging from the chandelier.  Hiding in a glass cabinet with an Expo marker and a cheeky message.  Then the monotony starts.  He moves from one shelf to another.  Back to the chandelier.  Then the third stage- the one where I forget completely.  "Honey," I whisper.  "Don't let the kids go downstairs!  I have to sneak down and move the #$%& elf!"  The other option is the kids finding him where he was.  "Oh, don't worry, kids.  George must've been too tired to go visit Santa last night and just stayed put."  I don't know how many times I can use that one.

For G, its the fact that George has to be out of reach.  Usually at least five feet up.  It doesn't work to tell him that the magic will disappear if George is touched.  He can't help himself when his meds aren't kicked in.  Well meaning people continually say, "He may surprise you."  If he can't help himself from kissing boys at school, he won't be able to keep his hands off George.  In turn, this need to have George out of reach, makes my job even harder.  Red Solo cup tree?  Nuh-uh.  Bathroom sink marshmallow bath?  Nope.  Driving around in a toy car?  Not happening.  Think about it- how many places can you hide an elf that a kid can't easily get to?  (If cyberspace has any great ideas, let me know ASAP.  I'm already getting desperate.)

And the cherry on top?  I'm not sure that the threat of George does us any good.  My kids aren't very intimidated, for whatever reason.  Oh well.  He goes "home" on Christmas Eve, so that's just 16 more days, right?  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...