I guess I forgot to knock on wood...

Because homework has been awful!  I think there are two reasons that its been so bad recently.

First, G has hit a wall.  The novelty of the beginning of school is done, the shine is gone.  All that writing he has to do?  Not fun anymore.  Now it just sucks.

Second, the work is getting harder.  Its getting difficult for me to swallow my thoughts and just have him do what his teacher has assigned.  I don't always see the point of his assignments, but his teacher is also a colleague.  She's so nice and organized, and I see lots of positives.  I refuse to air negatives to G, and I also try very hard to never air negatives to our colleagues.  However, I don't like all the assignments, and the one time I tried to ask for an alternate way of doing the work, I got shot down.

What do I do?  Some of the assignments are pointless or could be done a different way.  I don't want to be the crazy parent that harasses her, especially since we work together.  I don't think we'd qualify for a 504 plan to get the assignments altered.

Rock and hard place.  That's where we are at.  For now, I'll just keep trying to stay sane while G is having meltdowns over all the homework, and I'll farm some of it off to Hubby.  I deal with kids with ADHD that don't want to do their work all day long.  It'll be his turn.

Halloween

Ugh. I absolutely hate Halloween. I think a large part of it comes from being a teacher and having to deal with the excitement leading up to it, then the candy coma on the flip side.  All day Friday, I felt anxiety clenching in my gut.  Wild kids at school.  Wild kids at home.  G hadn't slept well in days.

School was actually okay.  We worked hard this year on keeping the excitement to a minimum, hoping to decrease the number of significant behavior problems.  I don't know for sure, but I feel like it worked.  My students, 5-11 year-olds with disabilities, were great.  No major issues.

We had to stop by the grocery store on our way home to pick up a couple of staples.  G and J were monsters.  Not in costumes- just in behavior.  We made a mad dash and got out.

I fed the kids while waiting for Hubby to come home, all the while making sure the kids knew not to open the door if I was downstairs or in the bathroom.

We live in a quaint neighborhood with lots of smaller houses very close together.  We hire off-duty police officers to close our streets so that its safer.  It gets crazy.  For a town of 70,000 people, its a big deal to get 1,500 of those people in your neighborhood.  People were ringing my doorbell much earlier than they should've, but I ignored them since our porch light was off.  (Doesn't everyone know that's the rule?)

At 6pm, the kids were fed and in costumes, so out I went with them while Hubby handed out candy.  The first bit was great.  It was light enough out that I could easily visually track both boys.  J gets a little more nervous, so I hung with him.  G, with his poor social skills, was accosting people.  He'd walk up to other kids, get 12 inches from their face, and say loudly, "I know what you are!  You're a _________!"  I tried explaining that they know what they are, seeing as they picked the costumes out and were currently wearing them.  It didn't help much.

We made it through about a third of the neighborhood, then headed home to meet up with our friends who were going to go with us.  By this time, it was starting to get dark.  We were lucky that Ms. D, the mother who was going with us, was dressed as a giant glowing jellyfish.  She became our traveling meeting point.  We went by a few houses that we'd been to before, waiting for Ms. D's boys to get their candy.

Two houses down from us, G decided to practice his balancing skills by using a small retaining wall as a balance beam.  Sure enough, in the near dark, he toppled it.  Fortunately, we know the neighbors pretty well, so we went up to let them know.  I explained that we'd come back in the morning to fix it.

Off we went, turning down another street.  By this time it was pitch black.  Oh, did I mention what G was for Halloween?  Darth Vader.  In an all black costume.  "What about his glowing red light saber?" you may ask yourself.  He didn't have it.  I had to confiscate it since he'd been whacking people with it.  People we didn't know and who probably didn't like being hit with some random kid's light saber.

G got lost twice.  Took a couple of years off my life.  Ms. D and the boys, including J, would go one direction, and G would go another.  Fortunately Ms. D, the glowing jellyfish of awesomeness, took J with her while I went looking for G.  Both times, G showed right back up 3-5 minutes later near where he'd disappeared.  I tried not to panic, but you always hear those stories about abductions.  He sure came off looking like there wasn't anyone watching him at a few points.

Anyhow, I'd grab him, give him a good stern talking-to, then look around for the jellyfish.  After the second disappearance, I took him home and made him put on pajamas.  I did let him come back down for awhile after the candy was all given out.

I survived.  And I learned a really important lesson.  Next year, G will be dressed as something enormous and glowing.  A jellyfish, maybe?  A hot air balloon?  A twenty foot tall lightsaber?  Be prepared, people.  Its on.

Second Grade, One-Fourth In

We've finished the first quarter of the school year, and I thought I'd post an update on second grade so far.

- G is reading short chapter books independently.  He can read a Poppleton or Henry and Mudge book in one sitting, and then successfully take an AR test on it (a short comprehension quiz, giving points that can be used for rewards).  He can read a Magic Treehouse book over several days and take an AR test on it, although his scores aren't quite as good.  Maybe he forgets details in the two or three days he reads?

- G can do most of his homework independently.  Some days he does all of it on his own!  I talk to him before he starts about what all needs to be done.  I sometimes have to prompt him to keep going or to start the next activity.  When he's done, I look over it to make sure he did it correctly, then we pack it all up together so that nothing gets left at home.  Overall, I'm pleased with the progress he's making towards independence on homework.

- We've had one referral to the office.  He was fighting with another boy on the playground; they both got written up.  Unfortunately, he gets going over the dumbest things.  The playground incident was over his place in line.  He tussled with a girl over a piece of paper in the classroom.  These situations aren't anything for him to get worked up over, but it shows that he lacks self control.

- He's learning a whole lot.  I'm thrilled to pieces with his academic progress in reading, math, and other subjects.  The two teachers he works with seem to like him and enjoy having him in class.

I think there are several reasons that things are going well this year.  First, we've laid some extensive groundwork between the medication he takes and the teachers he's worked with.  We've put a lot of energy into helping him take responsibility for learning and behavior, while keeping him safe and secure in himself.  Second, I talk to his teachers frequently.  I know what's expected and I do what I can behind the scenes to meet those expectations.  I don't want to be the helicopter or the bulldozer, but I'm checking up on things often.  Third, (but just as important as others) he has teachers that are organized and consistent, along with caring.  We've handpicked his teachers, and its part of the success.

We have some areas that need work.

- His writing is awful.  His handwriting is illegible at times, although my OT friend says he's going to be okay.  He hates writing, so he doesn't practice much, and so he doesn't get much better.  Tough cycle.

- He's got his sensory issues still.  Picking, chewing, etc.

- Behavior will always be a work-in-progress.  We medicated him three years ago because the kids around him were getting hurt.  If his behavior was appropriate, we wouldn't medicate him.  It'll just take time.

Big picture?  Things are going well.  There's room for growth, but I'm pretty pleased.

A Tale of Four Shirts

The shirts I speak of are the four that my kids ruined this week.  We can start with J, who is mimicking his big brother without even knowing it.  J put holes in the waist and wrist areas of two shirts.  He enjoys putting his fingers through the holes, so he just goes for it during listening time at school.  He got off the bus Wednesday and handed me the whole cuff of a long-sleeved t-shirt.  He'd ripped it clear off after putting some holes in the sleeve.  One of the shirts was Hubby's favorite to see the kids in, and the other was a Superman shirt with a detachable cape.  I'm letting the Superman shirt stay in rotation for now, three holes and all.  Because I'm the kind of mother that doesn't mind her kid looking like a ragamuffin.

Now, on to G.  Man, oh man.  I was in a meeting with some parents on Thursday when G's face appeared at my classroom door.  He started to open it, his teacher appeared behind him, she noticed there was a meeting, and they left.  I was a little anxious, as they haven't shown up at my door all year.  It didn't look like an emergency, and five minutes later, I hadn't been called to the clinic or office.  So I knew no one was hurt too badly.  Once the meeting ended, I found Mrs. P, his teacher.

Mrs. P explained the situation to me.  The scab picking is still an issue.  G had picked a scab on his arm and then used his shirt to blot the blood.  He blotted the blood no less than 37 times.  How do I know?  I counted the dots of blood all over his new orange Cub Scout shirt.  (Thanks to All Free and Clear detergent, it all came out!  I forgot to pretreat it.  Not surprising.)

The second shirt for G was Friday.  He chewed through the neckline of another shirt.

So one shirt went into the trash, two are just ratty but usable, and one still looks fine thanks to modern laundry science.  I have ordered chewy necklaces for the boys to use, primarily G.  I may try them with J, too.  Hopefully we can have something for hands and mouths to do that won't involve ruining more shirts.  And I'm going to keep saying yes to hand-me-downs.  Then I won't feel so bad when the shirt doesn't survive these boys for very long.

More Medicine Antics

This morning G needed to take his meds so we could peacefully complete our fall activities with as little drama as possible.  We have no applesauce, so he would have to take it with yogurt or a drink.  He wasn't thrilled, so I left the pill by his breakfast and went about my morning routine in the kitchen.

I guess he was trying to beat me at my own game.  "If I walk away, he'll have to take it without arguing, because I won't be there for him to argue with."

"If I don't take it, she won't notice, because she's not here to see."

Stalemate for ten minutes until J says, "Hugo (the cat) is eating the thing G's supposed to eat."  I'm thinking breakfast bar or peanut butter crackers.

"Well, J, go take it from him."  I see J stick his hand in Hugo's mouth and pull something yucky out.  I figure he's just saved the eat-anything cat from some human carbs.  No big deal.

One minute later, G is yelling, "I can't take it now!  I can't take it now!  The cat had it!"

Realization dawns on me.  My cat nearly ate 10 mg of Focalin XR.  I jump up to investigate and find a slimy, chewed-up capsule that fortunately has no holes in it.  I'm relieved that I won't have to take the cat to the weekend emergency vet for accidental poisoning.  Boy, that would've been a fun story, right?  I'm sure it happens all the time...

I pitched the chewed up pill and get him a new one.  This time, I stand and watch him take it, and he takes it willingly with some yogurt.  And we both felt like winners.

Liar, Liar

We are currently having an issue with G and lying.  Up until the past month or so, he was faithfully truthful.  He would flat out tell you that he hurt someone or took something or climbed somewhere he wasn't supposed to.  I've cultivated that truthfulness and always told him how proud I am of him for telling the truth.  We've talked about the consequences of lying for years, so that he would understand why I am proud that I can trust him to tell me the truth.

Not anymore.  The lies aren't over big things.  One was about who made the mess in J's room.  G said it was J, while J said it was both of them.  G went to bed early over that, with lots of crying and promises to never do it again.  We had a long discussion about the consequences for the two situations.  If he'd told me that they both made the mess, I would've had them both clean it up.  Because he lied, there was a punishment involved.

This morning, the Lego city was partially deconstructed.  G insisted that J did it.  Upon arrival at the scene, J informs me that they both did it.  G immediately apologizes for lying and begins bawling.

So he's in his room for the day and has lost screen time for two days, at least.  I'm at a loss about other consequences.  Treat him like a younger child to show that I can't trust him?  Make each punishment longer and more severe since the earlier one didn't work?  I'm open to ideas, Internet.

How do you stop the lying?

Oh boy.

This afternoon, starting at 3:40 when G came into my classroom, was awful.  G had his hands on his brother for minor annoyances.  He shrieked and wailed about doing his homework, going so far as to stomp out in the hallway and throw his pencil.  He insisted that he needed help with his homework, which involved doing a spelling activity with 14 words.  He said he'd do "creepy writing", but couldn't get past scribbling on the paper.

I wrangled the boys home, and I emphasized the need to finish the homework the whole way home.  G kept talking about needed help, but he seemed game to get it done and move on to screen time.  Then we get home.

Homework?  Nope.  He was everywhere but at the kitchen table.  Quiet?  Nope.  He kept talking about needing help, which I told him I wouldn't provide.  Calm?  Nope.  We tried getting the blankie and the Smencils.  I yelled.  I begged.  I ignored.

Finally, I said, "G, What is going ON?  Why won't you just do your homework?"

G took a deep breath and then wailed, "Because you forgot my medicine today!"

Uh oh.  I thought and thought and thought.  Then I realized he was right.  I forgot the medicine today.

I had two realizations upon realizing I had indeed forgotten to give my kid his prescription stimulant. First, it hit me that it explains why he made some funny noises when I went in to visit his classroom and why he had to move his clip down for playing with all his crayons at once instead of doing his work.

Second, it hit me that NO ONE GOT HURT.  I sent my kid to school unmedicated, and no one got hurt.  I swear- the clouds parted, a beam of light struck me, and the Hallelujah chorus was playing.

 Okay, so I made up that last part.

But it makes me feel so amazing.  He handled it.  And thank goodness for his teacher.  She must have the patience of a saint and amazing teaching skills.  Sometimes we go forever without seeing growth and maturity, and then we get a great look at how wonderful our kids really are.

Bring It On Home

I used to forget things, lose things, and be generally disorganized as a student, so I understand this aspect of ADHD.  My dad could never understand why I lost my weekly homework page, but those of us in the world with ADHD understand that one piece of paper is like the needle in the haystack.

As a teacher, I'm able to be sympathetic and helpful, never judging when my students need help writing down homework and packing up backpacks.

Now it comes full circle.  G is unsure of his homework each evening and isn't bringing home what he needs.  Boy oh boy.  At least I can sympathize.

I'm lucky.  His teachers and his classroom are right down the hall from me.  When he comes in each afternoon, we check his backpack, and I'm able to determine if we need to get more information or some materials so that homework can be done.  I'm able to just slip in to his room and grab things without much notice being taken.

I think there are some things that will help in the future.  Second graders don't have a real agenda- they simply have a homework sheet that the teacher makes up each week.  Most homework is on here, but math isn't listed since G goes to a different teacher for math.  In third grade, he'll have an agenda that will list all subjects.   Hopefully G's executive functioning will improve, and he'll be able to remember more than one thing for more than two minutes.

Until things get better, I can just keep coming along behind him and double checking, sneaking into classrooms, and asking teachers for more help and clarification.  And I'll keep sympathizing with my parents and all the other parents out there that have to deal with this frustration.

The First Week of School

I may seriously shoot myself in the foot by writing about this week in a positive light.  It has honestly been great.  G has been happy to get up most days, and once we are out the door, he's ready to be at school learning.  It may help that he has his little brother as a playmate, or just someone to torture, for the hour or so between when we arrive at school and when he can go to his class.

The teacher got a good insight as to why G is the way he is, as I forgot all G's school supplies on the first day of school.  That's right- I sent him to class without a single pencil, crayon, marker, or piece of paper.  I was able to find the necessities amongst the extras in my classroom, but it sure made it look like I don't have my $#!% together.  Maybe its better that she knows right off the bat that I'm not June Cleaver?

I can't say that G has an abundance of friends in his class, but its a mixture of kids he hasn't been with and ones that he has.  They seem like a good group.

Homework has been light, but the routine is going well.  I sit down and check his list of assignments to make sure he knows what they are and how to do them.  Then he gets them done before he plays.  He's done well, but so far the homework has been to tell your parents about a couple of things and practice writing your words of the week.  He chose spooky writing.  Its a big deal to him, this spooky writing (you make your letters shaky and spooky looking).

He likes his teacher.  "Why do you like her, G?" I asked.

In the words of an innocent seven-year-old, he responded with, "She doesn't do mean things to me."  Really?  I'm thinking.  That's all it takes for a teacher?  These kids get so mad at me when they can't have juice or the last popsicle or a bath with color tablets or a Skylander.  Teachers have it so easy.

Little Steps

I've set two goals for G this year.  First, I want him to be able to do his homework independently.  I don't mean that I won't provide assistance if needed or check when its finished.  I mean that he needs to look at the homework list, get started, try to finish, and stay on task until he's done without hurrying.  The second is for him to get up and get dressed cheerfully with minimal prompting from a parent.

So far the homework is going well.  I know the load is only a fourth today of what it will be in a few weeks.  The start of school is never as hard as later on.  However, he did start and finish today's one assignment with no complaining and no prompting to stay on task.  BIG DEAL, people!  He spent a whole day at school, then did more work without any negativity.  What a relief!  Maybe all the terrible homework experiences of last year are behind us, and we can move in an independent direction.

Mornings are not going so well.  There were tears yesterday, along with wailing about Daddy being mean.  (Since I take the boys to school with me for before and after school care, Daddy is now in charge of waking and dressing the boys- my least favorite part of the day heretofore.)  Today was less painful to hear, but no one was having a good time.

There are things that G is doing that I didn't think we'd accomplish.  Maybe I'm a pessimist or I underestimate my son, but I don't always have tons of faith in his level of maturity.  I'll take the little wins where I can and keep working on the others.  I'm so glad every time I find these little steps that are taking us in the right direction.

For His Teacher

Dear Teacher,

Today, on the first day of a new school year, we send you my very best. I have bathed him and dressed him in a new shirt. He carries a backpack full of supplies and a lunch box with (mainly) healthy food.   He's had breakfast and a bit of Focalin.  He's so excited to be in your class. We don't know you well, but he loves you already, because he's seven and you're his teacher. Second graders nearly always love their teachers.

He's a miracle, you see.  How can two cells come together to create the magic of this boy?  He loves Lego, comic books, and science. He likes to learn by watching, touching, and doing. Sometimes he's loud and sometimes he's quiet. Sometimes he's goofy and sometimes he's serious.  He will share nearly anything with anyone. He also doesn't lie. He's honest to a fault.

We've been working on the rough edges of our boy. He's less likely to put his hands on others, although he does love to wrestle other boys like a little pack of puppies. He has a strict sense of fairness and a need for routine, but we know you are good at that. We asked for a teacher just like you.

There will be great times with our boy in your class. You'll laugh or shake your head in wonder. You'll look at him and think, "What an amazing child!"  We know, because we do that ourselves. There may also be tough times with our boy in your class. You'll want to yell or be mean or pull your hair out. You'll look at him and think, "What a difficult child!"  We know, because we do that ourselves.

We send you our very best. We've put all our love, whishes, hopes, and dreams in there. Please, please like him. There's a fragile little soul in there, waiting to learn and grow.  Show him some of your own miracles, things only a beloved teacher can give a student. He's the best of us, no matter how grand or humble our home, how fast or slow our cars, how big or small our pay checks. Take our gift, and love him well.

Thanks, His Mother

Sleep, or Lack Thereof

Tonight was not a good night for G.  He woke up at 3am, and we found him playing in his room.  He also opened his brother's door.  Shortly after, we discovered that a cat had wandered into J's room, as he woke us up crying about the cat in his room.  Then G awoke at 6am, woke his brother, and then went downstairs.

The boys attempted to parent themselves.  I'm okay with them having yogurt or breakfast bars while we sleep.  Unfortunately, we neglected to put away two bags of Doritos and a bag of Pirate's Booty, all about half full.  There was only one bag of Doritos left by the time I got downstairs and discovered the carnage.

So we are all tired and grumpy today.  Is it the time change and trying to readjust after returning from California?  Is it the Focalin?  Is it a lack of physical activity?  I've been letting G have a bit more screen time since he's got limited downtime coming in two weeks.  I wanted him to just chill out and relax.  Maybe he needs less relaxing.

Early bedtimes for everyone tonight, folks.

Wrapping Up Summer

Okay, okay.  I didn't post at all in two months.  I'll recap some things, at least as far as the ADHD goes.

- G won the "Most Improved Reader" award for his class at the end of first grade.  I got teary at the assembly.

- I took both kids and my mother-in-law to the beach for a week.  The tired-boys part was awesome.  Putt-putt in the evening when they had no coping skills, not so much.

- I rode across the country in the front seat of a CRV, navigating for my mom, the driver, and hanging out with G in the backseat.  We saw the Gateway Arch, "Rount Mushmore", Yellowstone, the Grand Tetons, and the Great Salt Lake.  It was two weeks of travel, and I loved it.

- Halfway across the country, I called my husband to tell him to bring the Focalin when he came out to California to meet us.  We were trying to up the Intuniv, which made G sleepy.  He slept through most of Yellowstone!  (We were probably lucky- some of the overlooks were sheer drop-offs; we might have lost him at one of them.)  So we took him off the meds altogether.

- Yes, half of my trip across the country was with G unmedicated.  If alcohol didn't screw with MY medicine, I would've been drinking cosmos each evening.  But he was awake and enthusiastic!

- Once arriving in California, my husband arrived with Focalin.  Back to 10mg Focalin XR in the morning, plus melatonin and 1 mg Intuniv at bedtime.  Best we can hope for.

Its been a great summer.  Grand adventures, and of course, more to come in the months ahead.  I was just rereading the May entry that is the last post before this one.  G still has a dark grey mark where he stabbed himself with the pencil.  Really?  Really.

Today's Life Lesson

Don't walk around with sharpened pencils in your pockets. If you do, and you jump up then land a certain way, you will impale yourself with said pencil. That kind of puncture wound in your calf will hurt a lot. And your mother will torture you by cleaning it out.

Seriously, Parenting Karma?  Two days in a row?

The Tooth

My boys got teeth late in infancy.  Neither one had any at their first birthday.  I've known all along that they would lose their first tooth later than other kids.  Today, less than a month until his seventh birthday, G lost his first tooth.  It was not loose when I sent him to school this morning.

Just after noon, I was saying goodbye to a parent that had come for a meeting.  I see G walking up the hallway toward me with a worried look on his face and a wad of toilet paper held to his mouth.  I quickly say goodbye to the parent and head up to G.  We go into the nurse.

Me:  "G, what happened?"

G:  "My tooth is loose and bleeding."

Me:  "Yeah, I see.  How did that happen?"

G:  "I was playing tug-of-war and put the rope in my mouth.  This boy pulled on the rope really hard.  And now my tooth is LOOSE!"

Me:  Laughter.

I know its not funny to laugh at misfortune, but its just more of the absurdity of life with boys with ADHD.  I like to think of G as a really smart little guy.  However, there's a huge gap between factual knowledge and common sense with this guy.  I mean, he put a rope in his mouth during a game with "tug" in the name.  And he's surprised when there's blood?!?

I have written before about G picking everything.  This tooth was no exception.  He was adamant that it needed to come out.  I called the dentist, but they don't take out baby teeth, not even when the kid has OCD.  So I sucked it up and sent him back to class, bloody drool and all.

Forty-five minutes later I get word that the tooth is out.  Thank heavens.  True to form, he worried that tooth until it came out.  Its got a really long root, which worries me, so its good that he's going to the dentist tomorrow.  I have a feeling that little baby tooth was nowhere near being ready to come out.  I'll leave final judgement on that for the professionals.

And hopefully, G has learned a valuable lesson about ropes and teeth.

Update after doctor's visit

The pediatrician feels that the stimulant medication is making G more aggressive and increasing the obsessive-compulsive behaviors of picking at everything.  So we have stopped the Focalin and will be increasing the Intuniv.

Today I delivered G to his teacher in a seemingly unmedicated state.  There were no stimulants in his system.  I told his teacher about the medication change and told her that it seemed like a good idea the previous day.  It really seemed okay yesterday, but this morning, I was very anxious about sending G to class in such a wild state.  Don't get me wrong- he was happy.  I've seldom seen him in such a good mood.  It just also seemed like he was likely to literally swing from the ceiling if given a ladder to reach it.  And he was talking nonstop to the kids in the hallway.  His teacher and I talked about an incentive plan, one that I'm hoping will motivate him well.  My parting words?

"Try to hang in as long as you can.  Let me know when you just can't stand it anymore.  We'll go back to the stimulants for the rest of the year if we have to."  All the while, listening to G out in the hallway, chattering away at light speed.  Sigh.

By recess, he was a mess.  A total mess.  A total hot mess.  We spent twenty minutes trying to decide if he was being disobedient (teacher's thought) or just totally inept due to ADHD med switching (my thought).  He was noisy, fidgety, rude to the teachers, and just plain difficult.

We ended the day with me carrying a bawling G out to my mom's car so I could stay for a wedding shower.  No screen time.  No treats.  No happy thoughts about first grade.  I've called the pediatrician and am waiting to hear back.  I think we'll revert the meds, because bad on the stimulants was better than being without them for the next three and a half weeks.  I'll switch over the summer.

I'm exhausted.  I've done nothing but worry about my kid and wondering if I've done the right thing.  There's no way to know, though, for sure.  I'm back to blindly making decisions based on gut instinct and praying that I'm doing okay.  Hoping he'll make friends, have teachers who love him no matter what, learn something, keep his hands to himself, and actually get the urine in the toilet.

I'm reading about meditation these days.  I think I know what I'm going to be doing this evening while I wait to hear from the doctor.

Camping, Take Two

Success!  I have to say that I was just as excited the second time around as I was the first.  Maybe more, since this time I wasn't feeling sick.

Hubby had a race, so the boys and I got the car all packed up.  Now, thanks to my ADHD, we did forget a few things; hubby had to go back for some pillows and we only had one flashlight.  Overall, however, I had most of our stuff packed up.

Once again, we had the campground area to ourselves.  We got everything all set up, during which time both boys proclaimed themselves "bored."  Hah!  Bored!  In the woods!  G has decided he doesn't like bugs, which made for a lot of shrieking each time something flew by.  I did pack some pirate figurines and monster trucks, so those provided a bit of entertainment for a brief period of time.

Then we went fishing.  I figured out how to cast, so I was having fun.  Hubby was showing J how to use his new little fishing pole.  Then there was G.  He just threw everything he could find into the lake.  Rocks.  Sticks.  Grass.  Bait.  Leaves.  Everything.  I'm guessing that's more of a boy thing than an ADHD thing, but it didn't help with catching the fish.

The fire is G's thing.  Once I got it started, he spent hours finding sticks, breaking them, and putting them in the fire.  Hours.  It was delightful for me.  He's actually quite good at tending the fire without getting injured.  I was quite surprised at his respect and love for the fire and his ability to behave appropriately.

We had some good food (a little burnt- I have to brush up) and enjoyed the nice weather.  Sleeping was hard at first as the boys talked and giggled to themselves for the longest time.  Once they fell asleep, though, they did very well.  I got too cold and couldn't sleep well, but I enjoyed watching the sun come up by the campfire while listening to owls calling to each other.

We spent several hours at the campsite in the morning playing with the fire, reading, exploring, and then went for a bit more fishing.

I felt like I'd accomplished something.  First, I camped with two young kids and got them started on the path towards outdoors enjoyment.  Second, I banished screen time for over 18 hours and made them breathe fresh air.  Parenting win!

I have to take those wins when I can get them.  They can be few and far between.

Ouch!

G is a picker.  Scabs, nose, ears, skin.  But there's one type of picking that I simply don't understand.  He will take a little piece of skin on the tip of a finger and pick and pick.  It goes in cycles, and its been a year or so since its been a problem.  Today he came to me and I thought he'd been painting.  Nope- that magenta colored spot on his pinky finger was his own doing.

How do we stop this?  I think what really bothers me is that I know it hurts him.  He's inflicting some pain on himself compulsively.  Or obsessively.  I don't know which.

I feel like painting it with NewSkin could help.  It would hurt, which would be a deterrent.  And it would cover the wound for awhile while it heals.  But it seems almost like torture to do that.  Bandaids just give him something else to pick at and mess with.  The pediatricians have no ideas for me.  I'm lost.

Mommy Guilt

This is the new "it" phrase in parenting.  I hear tell that in decades and generations past, there was no mommy guilt.  You parented how you parented, and you didn't gauge yourself against the other moms.  Maybe people whispered about how horrible it was that some mothers were nursing toddlers.  Maybe there was talk about how so-and-so circumcised their boys- isn't that horrible?  Or maybe there was no judgement at all.

Now there is judgement everywhere, and moms who get judged by others, or by themselves, and are found lacking, feel some terrible guilt.  I try not to get into all the guilt, but yesterday I got sucked in.

Two grades were out for recess- third graders who had just finished state testing for science and first graders for regular playtime.  I had given two state tests and wanted some fresh air.  Plus, I like getting a mid-day hug from G.  So out I go into the beautiful sunshine.

Within two minutes, even after he'd seen me, G is throwing sand at some girls.  Not lightly tossing- he's throwing like its the World Series.  I walk over to the two first grade teachers who are supervising recess.  "What's the consequence for throwing sand?" I ask.

"They sit out the rest of recess," came the reply.

Can you see where this is going?  Now, I'm not a quiet sort of teacher.  Even if the student isn't mine, I get involved when I see inappropriate behavior.  I'll stop kids in the hall that I don't know if they are running.  I'll go into the bathroom if the kids are noisy and read them the riot act.  I get involved.

So, since I'd do it for anyone else, I call G over.  "You're out," one of the first grade teachers says.  "Go sit on the sidewalk."

I know I did the right thing.  He can't throw sand.  Inappropriate behaviors need to have consequences.  But I felt rotten.  He sat on the sidewalk with his head in his hands, nearly crying.  Four days with no recess due to weather and testing, and he'd lost it on the fifth.  Because of his mom.  He doesn't seem to have any hard feelings today, but I hope I can forgive myself.

And maybe I'll just stay in during first grade recess.

The Camping Trip

So, it only lasted five hours.  We'd been preparing for a month with a new tent, new air mattress, and a sleeping bag for J.  We got all packed and prepped with groceries and everything sorted.  We intended to go Saturday at lunchtime until Sunday morning.

Then I got a migraine.  It came on early Saturday, and the aura and pain disappeared within an hour.  Unfortunately, the nausea didn't go away.

We set up our camp and had a few hours of hanging out and playing and (in my case) throwing up.

I tried to tough it out, but after five hours in the wilderness (okay, the Izaak Walton League isn't really that wild...), I couldn't take it anymore.  We took down the tent, packed up the food and sleeping gear, and headed on home.  But we learned some pretty awesome things during those five hours in the woods.

-  J, at nearly four, gets bored way to easily in the outdoors.

- The boys like to go in and out of the tent over and over.

- I still have my fire-starting mojo.  One match, baby!  And no dryer lint!

- Hobo packs are good for everyone: hamburger patties, potatoes, carrots, and onion.

- Sleeping bags make good worm costumes when you're bored.

- G LOVES maintaining the camp fire.  And he was pretty good at it.

I can't wait to try again, preferably without the migraine or other illness.  Of course, then I'll have to spend the night in a tent with the boys, and we probably won't sleep well.  But isn't that the funnest part of all about camping with kids?!?